People ask me all the time what it feels like on an emotional level to have the health problems I do, so here it goes: I fall asleep every night with a very real fear in the back of my mind that I might not wake up the next day. I feel like 90% of the people who are nice to me are only nice because they know I’m sick. I feel like there is no man anywhere who could ever deal with how exhausted and moody and ugly all of this makes me. I feel like all of that is the reason my ex didn’t love me. It’s not his fault. In my mind, it’s actually mine because who could deal with me like this? I feel like I’m a waste of space because I’m just going to die young and amount to nothing because it hurts too much to get out of bed. I feel all of these terrible things, yet I am still alive right now and able to type this and I still have such a beautiful life and THAT is what helps me through the bad days.